I’ve gotten caught crying in a lot of weird public places.
In a parking spot at the mall while listening to Fiona Apple.
In the busy grocery store cheese aisle (at the unfairness of being lactose intolerant).
In the Haunted Mansion at Disneyland during “Nightmare Before Christmas-time” (I’d never seen it and Halloween is my favorite holiday).
But yesterday was a particularly good one.
Yesterday, I burst into tears on a busy street corner in the middle of Los Angeles with no sunglasses to hide behind or tissues to clean up my face. I was directly in front of a fancy Italian restaurant where there were beautiful, shiny, LA-people sitting having very expensive brunch on a very expensive patio.
I was the entertainment.
All the Instagram-ready LA people openly stared and whispered as tears streamed down my face while I looked at my phone and laugh-sobbed (loudly, and for a long time). Snot everywhere. Not cute. I’m sure people straight up thought I was crazy, but I didn’t care. An alert had just made its way into my inbox that my final video had been processed and was ready for viewing in COPY CLASS.
It was the final piece in a puzzle that took me over 6 months to build…
…6 months of wondering why the hell I’d committed to doing this.
…6 months of wondering if it would have been better to just stay small and keep the candle burning at both ends doing “dollars for hours” copywriting jobs.
But this moment was particularly meaningful because…
My entire adult life I’ve been telling myself an inaccurate and harmful story about who I am: that I’m a flighty creative person who never finishes anything.
I can no longer tell myself that story because COPY CLASS is finished and I’m BEYOND proud of how it turned out.
Here’s why that matters SO MUCH to me…
We all tell ourselves all sorts of harmful stories inside our own head, and I am no exception. It makes me feel kinda sick to my stomach revealing this publicly, but the story I tell myself (about myself) that brings me the most shame is, “ I get 60-70% of the way through a project, then give up”.
It comes (in large part) from being an actress and a creator for over a decade. There’s an element to being in the entertainment industry that acts as a double-edged sword:
You get rejected ALL. THE. TIME.
On one hand, it gives you a really thick skin. You learn how to take criticism and rejection. You learn how it feels to be more talented, more deserving, more hard-working than anyone else….and still not get the thing. It sounds horrible (it kind of is) but MAN does it make you RESILIENT AS F*CK.
But on the other hand…it messes with your head. Repeated rejection, every day for over ten years…starts to give you a complex.
After a LOT of self-reflection, watching TED talks, binge-ing Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday podcast, and reading everything Brene Brown has ever published… I realized that my feeling of “never finishing anything” actually stemmed from a feeling of never being chosen.
My new story: when I care about something, I see it through.
I’m RESILIENT AS A MOFO.
I have a TON of love and knowledge and empathy to share with the world.
I LOVE connecting with people online and helping them tell their stories.
And yes, I will continue to cry in public, shamelessly and with abandon.
SO, yeah. Finishing and releasing COPY CLASS has been about a lot more than just making an online course about how to write words that sell. It’s about empowering myself and others to take charge of the direction of our lives and the stories we tell ourselves.
If you’re curious about what’s actually inside COPY CLASS, please click the link below:
I’m so grateful for everyone who has been so supportive along the way as I’ve birthed this project…just, ugh, thank you.
(And if you were at Terroni on Beverly yesterday, sorry you had to see that.)